We came through the eye of the storm. We made it. We're on the other side.
I don't want to go over everything that has happened over the past 6 months.
We have all had to adjust to new schedules and new responsibilities...and do it all while we are still mourning.
Life goes on whether or not we want it to.
Once I scrapped my race season, I talked to Coach Liz. I was thisclose to canceling coaching. I was at wits end....I really was.
I have been with Liz for 5 years. So making that decision was the worst and hardest decision that I ever had to make.
BUT, Liz and I talked. She recommended that I not stop coaching. In my heart, I didn't want to stop. I needed it, but I didn't think I could do it.
I really really wanted someone to take the decision off my hands.
I decided to keep going. Since May, Liz was scheduling me for about 8 hours a week. I hit about 5 hours on average. I pretty much stopped all swimming. (Part of that was actually for a different reason).
With minimal sleep and even less actual training, I had a race in June. Seriously, I was in no shape to actually race.
We talked about the race, Liz said that I should do it for the sheer fun of racing and try to remember how much I enjoy this sport.
With ZERO expectations, minimal training and sleep and the funeral in the afternoon....I decided to race Loveland lake to lake.
I WON MY AGE GROUP.
My speeds were nowhere close to what they have been in the past, but I will be damned if I didn't give absolutely everything I had. I raced over threshold for both the bike and the run. Never in my dreams would I have thought I had a shot at a podium.
Even Liz commented, "You are racing very very well. You are doing it because......"
She was right. I'd had two races and two1st place age groups. (One of those was my first duathlon).
The match was 🔥 lit 🔥.
It was the 2nd week of July when I was able to commit to training again. Until this point, I was still skipping whatever I had to skip to get through life, but I had increased my training time to about 7 hours.
Then, this past weekend, I had another race planned: TriBoulder. This race is crazy competitive because it's getting close to Nationals.
With basically one week of true training under my belt, I sent a message to Liz and told her that I was going out there and do my best. No one can ask for more.
I came in 2nd in my age group with a MONSTER bike.
As I sat on the grass, I sent her a message, "I don't know how I'm doing what I'm doing right now".
Honestly, I don't know. I have no idea. I'm just going out there and giving my best at every race.
Maybe that's enough.