The song above is my new favorite. I think it's pretty amazing. The movie, which was made from a book, which I read and loved (years ago), came out a few weeks ago in the US. Tim Burton worked with Florence to write this song. I have never heard a song that so perfectly captures a story.
Well, maybe Rocky music.....
"Even closer to you, you seem so very far."
(Doesn't that line capture relationships? It's so painful and so beautiful.)
Little Wins
I'm a really flexible person and go with the flow pretty easily. Even I am being challenged now.
Mr. Tea went off his shots; only to be put back on them. The timing of the shot is really important. We are in the second phase of his recovery. It goes like this: 1.) Critical/life saving 2.) Stabilization 3.) Extended care.
We are in the stabilization phase. This can take weeks to months to figure out. Going off and then back on the shots was an emotional roller coaster. Then we both agreed that being on the shots is better than being off of them and having something really bad happen; like, going back into critical care. I guess, now, if he goes off and back on again, I'll be used to it.
These shots go into his stomach, which is now covered in bruises.....because the shot is a high does blood thinner. He looks like a UFC fighter that definitely got the worst of it.
The impact this has on me (not being selfish here just explaining the situation) is that Mr. Tea has a big problem with needles. Although some people can give themselves shots, Mr. Tea is NOT one of them. I plan my day around when I need to give him the shots. If I don't get up super early to run, I have to wait until after I give him the shot. Again, it's a timing thing. It's critical. The night one isn't such a big deal. We've come to an agreement that if I'm giving him his shot, we have to work somewhat around my bedtime schedule. (I've always been an early to bed, early to rise person. He is the opposite).
One of the hardest aspects of this is diet. I had no idea his diet has to be so restricted. No green veggies (and a bunch of others); no dark fruits (blackberries/blueberries). There are some absolute NO foods and foods he can have in very small quantities.
There are more wins than frustrations. As of Monday, he was able to sleep in a bed instead of upright in a chair. Sleep is still up and down, but he can (at least) lay down. Little win.
As far as exercise, he has no restrictions. However, that doesn't mean it's easy. He's walking every day and a little further every day. Little win.
He is doing his breathing exercises, and every day he is getting stronger. Little win.
Moving Forward
I've always been a "no excuses" person. If my life is too busy to take care of myself and do things I enjoy.....it's TOO BUSY, and I start cutting things out. Busy is not a badge of honor. It's the definition of someone who's life is out of control.
You'll never hear me make excuses for anything. I won't complain about the weather. I won't excuse away a performance. The only thing I control is effort and attitude. I can't control who shows up to race. I can't control the weather.
Right now is no different. I get all my workouts done. It felt really weird being disconnected from work for a week, but things are falling back into place. The fact is, other than giving him shots, I can go about my day as is normal. At first, there was a lot of stress. Liz and I worked through that together, but I need exercise to keep me healthy (physically and mentally). As I said in my Nationals race report, triathlon is my saving grace right now.
This week, I'm running a 5k. I'm really looking forward to it. My last 5k was right before surgery. I ran a PR. Liz and I have been doing a lot of work on my run. For me to reach my goals, my 5k needs to get to a 25-26 minute finish. I don't know how long it will take me to get there. My PR is 27:14. Anyone who runs, knows how hard it is to take seconds off a 5k. I want to take off minutes.
In October, I have my last tri of the season planned. Originally, this was planned as a vacation race. Now, we're not sure if Mr. Tea will be going. He can travel as he wants. He's just nervous about leaving while he is still in the stabilization phase. I totally understand that.
However, I'm going. The race isn't the reason I'm going. There are always races. (Although, I am looking forward to it). I'm going so I can have other people take care of me for a little while. Running the entire household and a business and taking care of someone and getting to doctor's appointments and doing my own training is a lot of work.