Pivotal moments

Maybe it's because I'm getting to the end of this training cycle. Maybe it's because it's the end of the year that I found myself thinking about my entire tri-career. At the end of the year, we all get a little reflective, don't we?

You don't?

Well then you just don't have a soul.

I can look back at three pivotal moments that changed my perspective or my direction, or they just changed me as a person and athlete. If you are relatively new to any sport, you will go through these times. Everyone does.

In 2008, I DNF'd at Ironman CDA. There were many reasons why it happened. I was jacked up for awhile. There was a lot going on my life at that time. I know now that I was not ready for the race....given what was going on in my life.

For months, I didn't know what I wanted from the sport. I was lost. I quit triathlon for a year. I ran a bit. I stayed away from the pool. I didn't touch my bike.

I almost quit permanently.

If you haven't figured it out, I'm constantly in a state of self-analysis. I'm constantly looking to be better. I'm constantly striving for more. In order to do that, you have to look at the ugly. This period of time, I had to look at the ugly.

I realized that Ironman was WAY too big of a commitment for me. I realized that I really did love the sport. I love the complexity. I love being good at one thing and not so good at something else. I loved the community of people that made up the sport.

But you know what? I was tired of being slow. I was tired of just making the cut off. I was tired of being last at every single race. If I completed CDA, I would have finished just at the 17 hour mark....or maybe I wouldn't have made the cut off at all.

I wanted to get faster.

And, I could still enjoy all those things, that I really loved about triathlon, by focusing on sprint and oly distances. I could work on becoming faster. If and when I had the urge, I could go long, again....down the road....like waaaaay down the road.

It might not seem like it, but it was a huge change for me. Everyone wants to go longer. There were times I was tempted to, but I kept going back to what is really important to me.


For next few years, that's what I did.


The next big event is what I call The Gap. It was the time that I was between coaches: Dec 2013 through mid Jan 2014.

I almost gave up triathlon again. This time, I was even more lost than after CDA. I was really frustrated. That's the best way that I can describe it. I was lost and frustrated. I took off from training completely for two weeks.
What do I do when I no longer knew what I wanted? I wasn't enjoying triathlon anymore.

During this time, I lost more friendships in about a two month period than I've lost my entire life, and I almost destroyed brand new relationships. These were people who I trained with, raced with, emailed and texted constantly.

Can there be triathlon without them? I would have a great race, pick up my phone to text them....only to remember that they were gone. No more funny texts back and forth. No more anxiously awaiting updates from someone who was racing.

I was in dark place.

I learned a very important lesson: the power of forgiveness. I forgave the people who hurt me. I forgave myself for hurting others. I had to do it in order to move on. After all, the triathlon community is small. Regardless of whether we are besties or enemies, we will see each other at races and training events.

Anyone can tell you that emotional baggage will weigh you down more than any physical limitations.

Then.....

I found a new coach.

I joined a new masters.

I found a whole new world of friends.

Things began to change.....

Over the next two years, I made gains bigger than in all my tri-years put together. I got my first AG win. I qualified for the National Championship 4 times in one year.

I was in a good place, a really really good place.

The most recent pivotal moment was Nationals 2015.

This didn't have the personal emotions or any of the issues from CDA. This was about accountability.

Accountability is the wholehearted embrace of what you desperately want to ignore.

After Nationals, I took a few weeks off from coaching. I'd been racing & travelling for 8 months. My pools were both closed. I needed time away from being analyzed. I needed time off from power and paces and heart rate.

I was able to think and once again analyze.

If the previous 2 years taught me anything, it was that I wasn't going to reach my goals if I kept doing what I was doing. My training wasn't the issue. My coach wasn't the issue.

I was the issue. Right then, I knew what I had to do. I signed up with a nutritionist. I read back over race reports. I went through my TP log.

I made a list. If I want to go sub 6 at my 70.3, if I want to make Team USA, these are the things that have to change.

I can excuse race or training performance away. OR, I can take 100% accountability for every step I take.

Let me tell you this. It is not easy to do that. Once again, I had to face the ugly, but I did it.
Since then, I have been more driven, more determined than I have ever been.
No excuses.
I own each and every success. I own each and every failure. I either make it happen, or I don't.

This triathlon life, it's a journey unlike anything else has been for me. I'm still amazed at how long I've done this. I look back at my first sprint (finish time: 2:45). I think about my best sprint today (finish time: 1:13). I did that. I know that women who are just starting, look at me when I show up. I know what they think because I did the same thing at my first races. "She's one of the fast ones."

I'm here now, doing what I'm doing because of the times I almost gave up. When you line up at your next race and you look at everyone around you, remember...they all have their own stories. Those stories put them at the starting line.

Now, it's time for me to write my next chapter.

Trust

Trust your plan.

Trust your coach.

Trust your fueling.

I've heard all of those things over the years. 

But you know what I never hear? Trust yourself.

I know that trust yourself is tucked inside the others, but when you trust your coach, your plan & your fueling, there's nothing left to believe in, except yourself.

Several weeks back, I had a long run. The run was 2 hours with 6 miles at goal half marathon pace. I completed the full 2 hours, but I was off the mark on the paces. Immediately after, I was frustrated, but I shook it off.

A week later, I had a 2:10 long run. This was the longest run of my plan, and I had to cut the run to 1:15.

I missed my longest run. I missed the paces for the previous week.

Wedge between those weeks and this week was a recovery week. 

This week, I had my last 2:00 run. This time the run included 7 miles of building to faster than half marathon pace.

Talk about being filled with doubt. I knew my fueling plan. I knew what I would have for breakfast. I knew how much sodium I need, how much water. I put on my favorite running shoes. I packed enough water and left it nearby. I wanted NO excuses for having to stop.

I completely trust Liz. I've seen SO many of her athletes go from back of the packers to some of the fastest people I know.

But, I didn't think I could do this. Yet, I HAD to do it. I needed that run. You know. THE run we all wait for showing us that the work, the sweat....and (for me) tears has been worthwhile. 

Liz gave me explicit instructions to NOT look at my heart rate. 

I wish I could tell you that I nailed the workout, but I didn't. I was hitting the paces, but I was making the run hard on myself. It was riddled with, "You can't do this. It's too fast. You can't hold this pace. Do you hear me?!!? IT'S JUST TOO FAST." 

Half way through my intervals, I realized my legs felt great. I felt strong. My fueling was going perfectly.

I was having the best long run of my life.

Here I was running the exact paces I needed, Yet, I STILL didn't think I could do it. 

Was I really feeling this good? Yes. 

For the first time ever, I realized I was afraid. I'm not afraid of going hard. I've spent years racing short course. Making the jump to long course means a whole new set of fears. I'm afraid of not being able to sustain the pace.

At that moment, I stopped thinking about not being able to do it, and I ran. 

I started my first mile at a 9:46 pace. My last mile was a 9:22 pace with the last kick at 9:13.

These were the fastest paces I have ever run for miles 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 and 12.

My fears had no basis. I was so afraid of thinking I couldn't do it...of thinking how hard it will be....yet, when I stopped thinking and let my legs go, I was able to run faster than I've ever run. 

I can't say, because of all this, that I'm a brand new runner! Running without fear! 

I know I'm still going to be afraid. Today showed me that I should trust myself. I don't know how to quiet those voices when they come up, but maybe I can just ride them out and not allow them to take root.

Here we go again

It's been years since I've written a year in review type of post.

This post is being written out of frustration & focus.

Earlier this year, I was really frustrated with myself.  I was accomplishing goal after goal, but I still wasn't doing what I thought I was capable of doing.

Mr. Tea has said a few times over the years, "If you drop a few pounds you'll be faster." I always knew he was right. I did everything that I thought was the right way to do things, but nothing happened.

In Spring of this year, he saw my frustration mounting. He said it again, "You'd be faster if...."

I knew he was right. I don't take offense to comments like that. He, more than anyone, knows what my far off goals are.

I always want the feedback.

A few weeks later, Liz said to me, "I'd really like (or maybe it was "recommend") for you to work with a nutritionist."

When Liz says things to me, I listen. I guess it was really that she was the 2nd person to say something to me.

For 2 months, I looked around. At the time, I was on a few tri-related boards (that I have since left), and I got some great recommendations. I started researching, made my decision & was incredibly eager to start....the timing was perfect. I'd get everything lined up and be ready to race my BEST at Nationals......

when.....

I had some family issues come up.

I had to put my plans on hold.

Months went by. I was able to start in July. After talking to Dina, we decided it would be best to wait until my off season (immediately after Nationals).

I was patient. I waited. It's hard to go out there, give your best (for where you are), knowing that your best was screaming to come out.

I suffered through Nationals, knowing that there was a new level of greatness, out there on the horizon just waiting for me.....but I had to wait for it.

When I started working with Dina, I felt like a weight was lifted. I know that sounds corny, but I had waited and waited. The excitement had built up.

She was so much more than I ever could have wished for.

When I dropped 12lbs, Liz and I decided that I'd run my birthday 5k. I was GEEKED. Here I was, 12lbs lighter, feeling better than ever and running faster than ever.

Unfortunately, I picked a terrible race that was filled with the biggest hills. Hills so steep that I couldn't truly "run" the downhills.

I thought the race would be a huge PR.....but it wasn't. There were a lot of great things that happened. I surged the hills. I didn't back down.

But dammit, I knew I was faster than my time.

I tucked it away. I had the Turkey Trot the following month. Liz and I aimed for another PR. This time, it was in the bag. I knew I was going to get that PR.

I hit the weights harder, more driven. I surged up hill repeats. I ran intervals harder than ever.

By the time the TT rolled around, I was down 16lbs.

And a snowstorm came in. Race morning was 10 degrees with freezing fog, that turned to freezing rain that turned to snow.

Once again, no PR. I managed to stay vertical. Again, there were a lot of "clues" to the speed that was hiding below the surface.

This time Liz could sense my frustration. She sent me a note that said, "When it's your time, YOU WILL SHINE."

I shook it off again.

Hit the weights harder. Did more. Ran more. Biked more. Went all out at masters.

I told Liz, "I found a 10k. I'm not going to race it. I'll do your plan for the day."

Even following her plan, I KNEW I was capable of getting a PR. My HR zone/paces pointed to it. All I had to do....was pace it like my upcoming half marathon.


Today was the 10k. I've lost almost 25lbs. I'm in my best shape of my entire life.

It was the most treacherous race I've ever done.

Once again, no PR.

Once again seeing glimpses of greatness.

I left deflated, frustrated.

Mr. Tea and I went out for lunch. I think he could sense my mood.

He said, "You know what your problem is? You have a sports car in garage, but you haven't been able to open it up. It's stuck in the garage."


He summed up my entire year in one sentence. I've put in all the work. I've done everything I could. I've done all the training. I took every piece of advice I got.

But, I haven't been able to put it all together.

That was 2015.

Using Liz's words: My time is coming: 2016 will be the year I shine.

Reflection

I just had a really rough couple of days. Good or bad. It gave me time to think.

The very nature of triathlon is competition. Unlike qualifying for Boston where you need to hit a qualifying time (as difficult as that is to do), triathlon is a different animal. In order to qualify for anything, you must beat other triathletes.

This fosters an environment of tremendous competition. If you want to be successful in triathlon, this competition has to be managed emotionally.

These points needs to be stressed.

YOUR SUCCESS DOES NOT EQUAL SOMEONE ELSE'S FAILURE.

LIKEWISE, SOMEONE ELSE'S SUCCESS DOES NOT EQUAL YOUR FAILURE.

Now, here's a crazy thought.

Your success can equal someone else's success.

Your only competition is who you were yesterday. You can be genuinely happy for someone else's success without compromising your own success.


I have had people (other athletes & coaches) say some pretty incredibly mean stuff to me over the years. I have had people ignore me. I've had people refuse to make eye contact with me after a race.

These comments and actions do NOT reflect on who I am as a person.


Their words and actions ONLY reflect on the type of person they are. I have found that athletes with the biggest egos typically have the lowest confidence. They believe in tearing people down instead of building them up. These are very angry, jealous people. They are jealous of YOU and what you have accomplished and what you can accomplish. (That's my experience anyway). We are all at different point in our athletic careers. Me? I'm a late bloomer. I had kids at a very young age. When some women were pouring everything into being the best athlete they could be. I was doing double duty with diapers and just happy to get out for a 3mile run every now and then.

These people represent the minority of the people who race. Unfortunately, they exist in every sport.

These random thoughts came about because as I was laying in bed in misery on Monday, I was thinking about several incidences over the years.

In one situation, I asked a "friend" how she did at her recent 10k. She laughed and said, "I'm not telling you. You're my competition. You're just trying to size me up."

1.) Maybe she doesn't realize that her times are posted online. If I was really interested in finish times, I could spend hours looking up people. That's not how I roll.

2.) I wasn't interested in her finish time. I was interested in how her race went.

On the other hand, some of my friends are the most incredible athletes. They are also the most down to earth, humble people you will ever meet. This situation though, is about a woman I met at Nationals.

When you do local races, you tend to know the athletes who are about your speeds, paces. When I went to Nationals, I ran into a woman. She looked very familiar to me, but I knew I had never met her. I went up to her and asked if she was from CO. After we made introductions, I realized that she was one of the top 10 women in my age group in the US. She was someone who had a very real chance at winning Nationals. (She had in previous years).

Here's the best part. If I didn't recognize her name, I would never have known she was a top age grouper. She was the nicest person. I told her it was my first time doing Nationals. She gave me all kids of advice, so I could have my best race.

The best triathletes know that we need others to have their best races in order to pull out our best races.

If you are focused on beating someone else, you cannot focus on your race. I don't care what the distance is. Your goal is to put your best race forward. Yes, it is ok to want to chase someone down if they pass you....or to want to "pick off" people during a race. The difference is that you are using other athletes to push you to be better. At the end of races, I have thanked women for making me run harder. I have thanked them for helping me get a PR.

When you are genuinely happy for someone else's success, when you treat other athletes with respect, you are what makes this sport great.

SQUUUEEEEE! The KONA race report is finally here!

There are few people that I admire. There are even fewer who have the ability to motivate & inspire me to be my very best.

Amanda is one of them.

I was hoping she would get around to writing her Kona race report. Some of you know that Amanda is a coach and athlete (now pro triathlete) at Multisport Mastery. My Coach Liz is her coach. I had the honor of meeting her in February in Palm Springs. You will never meet a nicer, more dedicated and more genuine down to earth person.


Also, if you missed out on Coach Liz's Kona Race Report. You should check it out as well.

When you read those race reports, you'll understand why I'm do what I'm doing. When you surround yourself with great people, great things happen.

OSF Update #3: I'm not going to do it.

I was asked "when" I'm going to post before and after pictures.

If you've been waiting with bated breath, it's not going to happen.

I have a lot of thoughts on the subject. I might be wrong in every way. I'm wrong a lot, but I'm so over body shaming of any kind. "You're too thin." "You're too fat."  Photos only encourage that.

I've said this over and over. I define myself in terms of my personality traits: I'm confident, creative, intelligent, caring, freaking hilarious, etc.

1.) I never did this for physical appearance reasons. I did this to become a better runner. That's it.

2.) Posting pictures is always followed up with well meaning, "You LOOK GREAT!" "You look amazing....how beautiful...." blah blah blah. I find those comments insulting and not at all complimentary.  Why? Because who the fuck cares what you think about how I look? I know you're trying to be nice, but I don't need that. My confidence comes from inside.

And yes....on more than one occasion, Mr. Tea has told me I'm too blunt with people.

3.) Why would I post pictures? Again, why do YOU care what I look like? It's my body. I'm the only one who needs to even think about it.  I've found that when people post pictures on social media, other people get into the comparison mindset. "She's bigger than I thought." "She's smaller than I thought". "She could still stand to lose a few." "I could do that too". "She should eat a sandwhich". Consider this: I'm doing you favor. You can believe that I've lost weight. You can believe that I've dropped minutes off my mile pace. You can believe that I've gained power on the bike.  OR, you don't......but NO picture is going to prove any of that.

4.) There is no such thing as Before and After. There is no AFTER. There is continuing momentum toward my goals. When one goal is accomplished, I move on to the next. There is no finish line.


What I have gained from having a nutritionist goes FAR beyond weight loss. THOSE are the things that are most important to me. I want to be the best athlete I can be. That requires a fueling strategy. It requires intense training. It requires recovery. It requires rest and sleep. Losing weight is a very small piece of that.

I don't know where this is all going to lead me, but it's my journey. My closest friends understand. That's all that really matters.


I've said my peace.





If you are absolutely dying for those before and "after" pictures, you can look at my FB pictures from Nationals on 8/9 and then compare them to pictures from my 2016 season. I'm sure I will post race pictures. If you want to spend your time looking through my photos, have at it.

My favorite recipes

After reading comments from FB about a week ago, I thought maybe it would be helpful for me to post recipes of my favorite foods.

Most of you know that I started working with a nutritionist back in August. After the first couple of weeks, I knew that to be successful, I was going to have to find meals that were fast, easy and delicious.....or this wouldn't work.

The point is that these are very tasty but require very little time. The meal that Mr. Tea made for me took less than 15 minutes. I joke about being a princess (because he really does treat me that way), but I do cook for myself as well.

Now one thing I want to say is that if you are OCD about measurements, you'll have to get over it. Neither one of us measure out ingredients. I will give you a guideline though.

First up: Turkey burger, lettuce wraps and cauliflower rice. (The cauliflower rice is my absolute favorite. This is a side that you can use at any meal).

This is one of my favorites. I make 5 burgers and save them for lunches all week. I make a batch of cauliflower rice divide it into 5 portions. Voila....lunch for 5 days.

Turkey Burgers:

I usually make quarter pounders.

1 lb ground turkey. (I use the super lean stuff, but use whatever you want).
1 zuchini squash
Seasoning: garlic powder, cumin, ground ginger. Approximately 1 tsp of each. The final mix should come to about 1 TBSP. I like garlic powder, so I add a little more.
Lettuce wraps (you can find these in the prepackaged lettuce section).


Grate zucchini.Wrap the grated zucchini in several sheets of paper towels and squeeze out as much water as possible. In a medium mixing bowl, combine the zucchini with the turkey and the spice blend. Season with pepper and ½ teaspoon salt. Mix well. With damp hands, shape the mixture into four patties. In a frying pan over medium heat, warm 1 teaspoon oil until hot but not smoking. Add the turkey burgers and cook until well browned, about 5 minutes each side.

BOOM. Turkey burgers are done. (Cooking time varies depending on how fat you make them). Place burgers on top of the lettuce wrap. That's it.

Cauliflower Rice:

What you need:

Fresh pineapple (although, frozen probably works). I buy the pre-cut stuff from the grocer. How much? Well, 2 rings. If you like pineapple, add more. If you don't, make less.

Full fat coconut milk. This comes in a can and is found in the baking section of the grocer. I use a half a cup for a full head of cauliflower. Again, tweak it. When you first add the coconut milk, it will seem very liquidy. Trust me. It will thicken up to the point that you won't even know it's in there.

Cauliflower (1 head)

Cook the pineapple

In a frying pan over medium high heat, warm 2 tablespoons oil until hot but not smoking. Cook the pineapple until caramelized, about 5 minutes on each side. Transfer the pineapple slices to a cutting board and chop. Don’t wash the pan.

Make the cauliflower rice

Core the cauliflower and chop into small pieces that roughly resemble large grains of rice. (I do not use any stems. It's easy and faster to cut the florets. The cauliflower comes off in tiny little rice size pieces).

In the same pan used to cook the pineapple, add 1 tablespoon oil if the pan seems dry and warm over medium heat until hot but not smoking. Add the cauliflower, season with salt and pepper and cook, stirring occasionally, until the cauliflower caramelizes, about 4 minutes. Stir in the coconut milk and cook until the cauliflower is just tender, about 2 minutes longer. Add the chopped pineapple and cook until heated through. 

That's it. You can easily prepare the cauliflower rice while the burgers are cooking.  

This entire meal takes less than 15 minutes. 

The good times

For the past 2 years, we've ridden the emotional roller coaster more often than not with our business. Wait. Maybe it's been 3 years?

Who knows? Time goes by so quickly.

After awhile, I decided to stop blogging about it. No reason for me to keep telling you, "This is going to happen" only to find out 2 months later that it wasn't.

The key is to go with the flow. When things are tough, it falls on YOU to do whatever it takes to get through it. That means you could be working more hours than you ever knew existed in one week. When things are good, you must enjoy those times because you don't know how long it will last.

After doing this for 10 years, I've gotten very good at having things roll right off my back. We've been through lawsuits (someone using our trademarked name intentionally). We've been through employee issues. We've been through financial struggles. We've been through the ringer with attempting to buy another company. We dealt with location issues. We've had to end long standing relationships. We've started new ones. We've dealt with tremendous growth. We've learned how to get through a recession. And these are just a quick few that popped into my head.

All this in just the past 2 years, while having two sons, being the happiest couple around, taking care of family issues.....and having a triathlete in the family.

As I write this, I can see the biggest changes that we made are starting to pay off. We have the best team on staff that we've ever had. In the last 2 weeks, I've only had to go to the warehouse to help pack, twice. One of those times, after I arrived, they didn't even need me......during our busiest time of year.

One of our struggles has been our location. It's way too small. We're packed in like sardines. It's hard to find things in the warehouse because some stuff is still in boxes.

Finding space in Denver has been very tough, and the emotional roller coaster of attempting to buy another company (which has a great location).....it held us back from really looking around. When we finally decided to get a new space, the rents were atrocious and the terms ridiculous. Denver has the highest rents in the US (homes and office).

So. We waited, getting frustrated. We decided that once we got through the holiday season, we'd start actively looking.

Our warehouse is part of a cluster of warehouses. They are all small businesses. You get to know people.

As luck would have it and as Mr. Tea was strolling into work one day, one of our neighbors came out to talk about the trash service (because that's the glamourous life of a small business owner). We found out that one of the businesses (not far from us--a few places down from us) is moving to a larger facility. We couldn't even believe it. Their warehouse is double the size of our current location. They put all the nicest furniture, offices, equipment....did I mention it's double the size of our current location? Did I mention the windows? Our warehouse is this dive little unit with no windows except at the front. This new unit is the entire end and corner units. That means everyone would get a window.

As soon as we heard, we negotiated a deal to take the entire place with all the furniture, all equipment.

You read that right.

WE'RE MOVING.

The exact date is not set yet. It was supposed to be February, but the other company is having a location built.....of course, there are always delays with new construction. Right now, it's looking like we'll be moving in March.

You can cut the excitement with a knife at our current place. Everyone wants to go on a field trip, stake out their own places, get the best window seats.

I can't even begin to tell you how exciting this is.

Right now, I'm just going to enjoy this time because it's one of the good ones.

Don't be afraid of your power

I started blogging in 2002. I have always written (ad nauseum) about my current training plan or coach.

I write about my coach because a coach is the single most important person in my tri life. It's the person with whom I share everything. I'm not afraid of being vulnerable. I'm not afraid of telling her my greatest fears and biggest goals.

On the flip side, I give everything I can to my coach and the workouts. I am completely engaged in the process. I ask questions. (I've even questioned the process).

As I was recovering between intervals yesterday, I had several thoughts running through my head.

"Don't be afraid of your power, Tea."

"Eat pain and go back for more."

"You'll be at the threshold of hell. Hold on and go harder."

Triathletes are surrounded by data. We use heart rate info, pace, power metrics, effort. You name it. We measure it.

I appreciate the data, but the one thing that is missing is "how is that supposed to feel?"

I'm one of those triathletes who need to know HOW a training session is supposed to feel....at the bare bones....ugly level.

I need to know. I need to know what level of pain I need to embrace. I don't do well with ignoring pain. I need to look forward to it, embrace it, own it.

When I started with Liz, some of you might remember this, I blew up at her one day in frustration.

"I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know how I'm supposed to FEEL out there. I feel like everyone has a secret that I don't know!"

Sure. I knew that I was supposed to race at threshold, but what does that actually feel like?

That's when the BEST of the BEST Liz quotes were born.

Since then, she is constantly telling me how I'm supposed to feel in addition to pace/power info.

6 x 1 mile intervals.....after running 5 miles?  Your legs will burn! You'll want to stop. Your quads will be screaming at you like they do in a 5k. No. it's not easy. YOU CAN. Tea. YOU CAN DO THIS.

When I got home from those intervals, she and I talked.....well, we emailed (hey, I'm an introvert. She's an introvert......we communicate better by email when I've had time to process things).

I realized in our conversation that there's a level of pain that I never experienced until yesterday......and I can go beyond even that level.

I'm ready.

I'm going to take my running to the threshold of hell. Hold on and go harder.

Suffer Now.

Suffer now, Tea. Suffer now, so this pain makes sense when it matters most.

Right now. At this exact moment. I'm feeling beaten down.

Have I told you that this half marathon is the first half marathon that I've trained for with Liz as my coach?

For 10 years, I pretty much did the same old, same old half marathon training. Guess what? I got the same old, same old results. A small pr here, a small one there, but always within a minute or two of each other.

My half marathon PR is 2:18. Let that sink in. When most women in my age group are running sub 2 hours, I'm running a 2:18. Frustrated doesn't even begin to cover it.

I've always believed that I was faster than my times showed. WHAT was WRONG with me?

When we started my half training, I had no idea what I was in for. With Liz, it's better that way.

More intensity, less distance. It makes sense. I understand why. But I doubt myself.
I do the workouts, trusting the system. I know that what I've done in the past hasn't worked, but can I trust myself to put together the race that want? Dammit. The race that I f*cking deserve? Haven't I waited long enough?

I'm busting my ass every damn day. I am stronger, faster, leaner than I have ever been in my life.

I'll just do what I do best.

Hammer out workouts and hope I can put it all together when it matters most.