For the past few weeks, I've been watching what I say here (on my blog) and on facebook.
FUCK IT. I'm not doing that anymore. People are going to see themselves in what I say. It's not my problem if you suffer from low esteem and think that my world revolves around you.
Now, that we've cleared the air: I've been posting a lot lately. It won't last forever. I'm excited about the way things have been going. I feel so good.
My training has changed in very subtle ways, but it has had a huge impact on me physically and emotionally. I'm not getting my hopes up too soon (coughhoneymooncough), but I haven't felt this good in years. I'm sleeping better than I have in a long time. That's saying a lot because I'd gotten to the point where I was trying to survive on 2 hours of sleep a night.
I've been racing in one form or another for a very long time. I know that training and mood and physical ability ebb and flow. Some times I'll feel great, and sometimes not. For me it's no different than racing.
I've been told that I'm an emotional racer. That is absolutely true, but what you might not realize is that I don't hold on to any of that.
I prefer to think of myself as a "catch and release" athlete.
Ride the wave of the good times during training or racing.....acknowledge bad spells but don't hold on to them.
Now that I think about it, that goes WAY beyond training and racing. A friend of mine reminded me recently that I had told her many many many years ago about the relationship spiral. Sometimes we spiral toward each other...that's when things are really good. Sometimes we spiral away. That's when things are tough.
But we don't just give up....we ride the wave.....acknowledge the bad times but we don't throw the whole thing away because we hit a rough patch. That'd be like quitting a race just because we're tired.
I recently had this exact situation with a friend that I've known since 1999. (In fact, I wrote a blog post on it a month or so ago). We were on opposite ends of the spiral because our lives had gone in different directions. Then, out of the blue, he contacted me yesterday. It was great to hear from him. It really made my whole day.
Enjoy the good times. Don't harbor the bad. It will only hurt you.
Live like you race.