I'm so tired. It was in a state of near hypnotism (during my long swim this morning) that I realized how truly SICK I am. My weekly volumes are increasing (like most of us do when we are training for a race), and I honestly said to myself, "I can't wait for the weekend when I can just do my long runs".
Apparently, relaxation now means running stupid far distances. Which is (apparently) easier than doing 2 or 3 workouts a day.
You following me?
Fridays are particularly difficult. Not only have I had a week of training, but Thursday is a speed workout in the morning followed by a tough ride in the evenings. The next morning is a recovery run followed by a swim.
By Friday nights, I'm tired, physically tired. Knowing that I have only one thing to do each day on the weekends is like a mini-vacation even if the ONE thing is running STUPID FAR.
sigh
Did I mention that Sunday's run will be in the cold, windy, snow? AGAIN?
sigh
By the time my race comes around, I'll be a hardcore runner.
The real reason I'm writing today besides having the opportunity to demonstrate how poorly I think, write, and function on exhaustion is to talk about something I've been thinking about.
It's something that really took me a long time to learn.
I'm not the fastest person when it comes to running, and I've been running a long time. Sometimes people look at me funny....like I'm supposed to be in the olympics by now. This happens alot with people who are new to being athletic. They look at me as though something is wrong with me.
I don't know what got me thinking about this....seriously. I started thinking back in time. With the exception of 94 and 95 when I had the two kids, I was running. I've been running as long as I can remember. In fact, I did races too.
I just never really cared about comparing times. I know it sounds crazy to some people. I guess, running was more of a process for me. It was how I dealt with stress or family issues etc. If I started adding the pressure of being concerned about race times, I don't think I would have liked running....back then.
There was alot going on in my life, and why ruin "running" with more stress? At the time, I couldn't separate goals and expectations. Goals are good; expectations not so much. I didn't really know how to set appropriate goals without then also getting tied into the expectation of hitting goal.
I'm starting to babble.
blah blah blah (speaking of which, have you heard Keisha and 3Oh3's song?)
This year, I'm doing a number of races and bike tours. But I have only 2 goals and 2 races that are special to me. They are races that I have some aggressive goals, but I have no expectations. All I can say is that it won't be for lack of training that I don't hit my goals.
The first is next month. I have a 7k planed (4.34 miles). My goal for this race is to run it in the same time I ran 4 miles in Nov 2009. That's a pretty aggressive goal. It won't be a PR for the race, but it will set up my goals for my half marathon.
The half is really important to me. I'm running one in May, but that's not my A race. Again it will be a pacing race that will allow me to set up my plan for my Oct half.
If I PR in my Oct half, we're heading to Carlsbad for the half in Jan 2011. That's where I got the PR that I'm chasing down.
Of course, I'm not really sure if I can PR this year. But that's why the 7k is important. It's going to tell me how I've been progressing this winter.
That's the lesson that I've learned. I have goals, but I won't assume or expect anything that to have a good time.
The PR will come.
